


if only i had remembered before

by daikonsenpaii



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Garden of Light, Goodbye, M/M, New York, New York Public Library - Freeform, alstroemeria, chrysanthemums, everlasting friendship, flowers and their meanings, happiness and good luck, i dont like this fanfic lol, i wanna rewrite it but cba, yellow snapdragons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:29:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28892946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daikonsenpaii/pseuds/daikonsenpaii
Summary: SPOILER WARNING FOR BANANA FISH.He'd often find out new things about Ash, years after his death.
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Kudos: 13





	if only i had remembered before

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Banana Fish](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/746397) by Akimi Yoshida. 



Ash didn’t believe in soulmates and love, or anything of the sort really.

That is, until he met Eiji. To him, Eiji was like the moon. He shone bright even if everything surrounding him was dark. Ash looked up to Eiji because of that. During the events of Banana Fish, the only thing good that happened to him was meeting Eiji. That was the only reason why he was able to keep going. 

Yet, just before their happy ending, Ash was stabbed. 

That’s it really. Though before dying. He went to the New York Public Library, and sat in the seat Eiji always sat in. There, he could read through Eiji’s letter one more time. With no fear of being chased down by Dino, or any other Mafia Boss. He could finally keep his guard down in public. It felt like Eiji was sitting in front of him. Ash always felt safe whenever he was nearby. 

\----------------------------------------------------

Ash remembered. They’ve met before. As children. It was the first time he had killed someone. Ash had stumbled out of the building and made his way to the nearest playground. That’s where he met Eiji. After sitting down on a swing, a boy went up to him and asked, “ Are you okay?” The boy looked a little older than him, maybe two years older. He had black hair and big round eyes. He looked Japanese.

The words Ash had been wanting to hear. All he wanted was to be loved, and not in a sexual way. Anything but that. Ash was only 8 yet he had been raped numerous times by different adults. It hurt. Ash hesitantly replied, “ Y- Yeah… I’m okay…”  
“ Yeah right! You’re obviously not! You’re bleeding! Idiot.”, the boy answered aggressively in broken english. “ Let’s get you cleaned up! Wait here.”

Ash watched the boy run off, before coming back with first aid. Ash was astonished. The boy was being so kind to him, but they didn’t even know each other. Ash was… happy, someone finally cared. He didn't care whether he was a stranger or not, he had finally been shown kindness. Tears rolled down his face.  
“ Heh? Why are you crying? Uhhh… d- don’t cry!! '' the boy panicked as he tried to think of ways to make Ash smile, “ Ah! I know!!”  
The boy began pulling faces and doing weird dances. Ash couldn’t help but giggle.  
“ You finally laughed.” the boy smiled, " My name is-"

Ash couldn’t remember his name. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t.

“ Eiji Okumura! I’m Japanese so pardon my bad english!! “

Ah. There it is. So that kind boy was Eiji. He could see a resemblance, their looks and personality. Eiji never changed and Ash was glad that he didn’t. It didn’t matter whether Eiji remembered or not. Ash was happy to have met him.

The two children talked for what felt like hours. It was the one day that allowed Ash to keep on living in hope to meet that boy again. But Eiji had to leave, his mum called for him. Ash waved Eiji goodbye, fully knowing that the chance that they'd meet again is less than 5%. But Ash had to smile, he didn't want to leave Eiji feeling bad that he left. But the smile didn't last for long. As soon as Eiji had left Ash's field of vision, he cried.

\----------------------------------------------------

Eiji woke up, crying. He dreamt of Ash again. Eiji looked at his shaking hands. He blamed himself for Ash's death, no. He knew that he was the one who killed Ash. He'd often dreamt of everyone blaming him for writing that letter, to the point where Eiji blamed himself. 

He dried his tears and attempted to pick himself back up. Of course it would end up as Eiji looking back on the pictures of him and Ash. A tear stained photo album, accompanied by natto. At this point, everything reminded him of Ash. The pictures Eiji took were often about Ash anyway. Today, Eiji decided to go to the park to find motifs for his next picture. He tied up his hair, and prepared his camera. 

It was still early, so the park was empty. The sound of birds chirping, and the distant noise of traffic. Eiji was left alone, with only his thoughts and camera to accompany him. Vibrant flowers and thick trees decorated the park. The occasional pause whenever something caught Eiji’s eye. That is, until he saw a small group of yellow snapdragons. Eiji stopped and looked at them. He had seen them before at an important, but where? Eiji thought long and hard, until. He remembered. 

It was when he visited America as a child. He was playing in an empty playground and saw a blonde, american boy. His eyes a lovely shade of green, yet they were filled with fear and shock. Bruises and cuts covered his arms and legs, and blood smeared on his clothes. Eiji could tell he was older than this boy, so with a sense of responsibility, he decided to go talk to the boy and treat his wounds. Eiji had a hard time trying to cheer him up, the poor boy was constantly shaking and crying. But the end result was worth it, the boy’s smile, and behind the boy was a group of yellow snapdragons.

“ M-my name is Aslan. Aslan Jade Callenreese. “

Aslan? Isn’t that… Ash’s real name? Tears rolled down Eiji’s face, non-stop. They had met before and he didn’t remember. When did Ash remember? Or did he remember at all?

“ You know. Yellow Snapdragons represent smiles and happiness.” Eiji pointed at the snapdragons behind Ash. “ I guess that's representing us right now!”

So that's why Ash began crying. 

“ How do you know the meaning?”

“ Ah. My sister really likes flowers and always tells me about them. So I guess that's how I know.”

Eiji couldn’t stop crying. But, now that he had remembered, he decided to buy Ash some flowers. Particularly, the flowers he told Ash about.

“ Then, what flower represents leaving someone?” 

“ That would be… Chrysanthemums! They mean goodbye and Alstroemeria mean eternal friendship. I hope our friendship is also eternal, Ash. “

Eiji bought a bouquet of Chrysanthemums, Alstroemerias and yellow Snapdragons before heading to the Public Library. Why did he ask about a flower meaning goodbye? He laid the bouquet on Ash’s seat, “ When did you remember, you know, the time when we met as children…”, tears rolled down his face, “ I’m sorry Ash, if only I had remembered before.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a little authors note so feel free to skip it! 
> 
> This is my first fanfic so I apologise if it isn't that good. I really enjoyed making this, even though it did make me cry haha. But I do hope you enjoyed this, as I look forward to making even more fanfics in the future! I also just realised how short it is! But, in some ways that's okay! 
> 
> I wrote this with a helping hand from my closest friend ( @kuroos_leftknee_ on instagram ). They helped me edit, and create both the title and story! So this is just a little thanks to her!
> 
> EDIT - Hello! I do realise how badly written this fanfic was! I apologise for that. I believe I rushed to post it. Maybe one day, I'll re-write it. I'm not sure when. I am also working on another fanfic right now! Though it may take a while before I publish it. I'd like to not rush it and write to the best of my abilities. I hope you look forward to my future fanfics!


End file.
